


Happiness doesn't always come in pill form

by littlemisstpk



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Multiple, POV Third Person Limited, Slow Burn, pharmacy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-02 20:11:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13325616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemisstpk/pseuds/littlemisstpk
Summary: Yuuri is a dime-a-dozen pharmacy technician student in Halifax, Canada, when he meets the man of his dreams in a class presentation on hospital pharmacy, forever altering Yuuri's career trajectory.The only question left in Yuuri's mind is whether or not fate will cooperate with his wishes.





	1. School

When Yuuri was in college, training to be a pharmacy technician, he had no real thoughts of what his future would hold. He knew that he wanted to help people, and do so in a reasonably comfortable fashion. While he found the majority of the work to be monotonous, the positive results of his work -seeing people function due to the medication he was preparing- made the monotony worth it. While on some level, he felt that the program was useless, it served to introduce Yuuri to aspects of pharmacy that would be harder to reach had he simply started working in retail as a pharmacy assistant.

Which lead him to gawking at the most handsome man he had ever met.

Yuuri sat at his regular spot at the large island that served as the main work station in the aseptic room that doubled as a pharmacy conference room, school flu shot clinic, and holding chamber for the myriad of practical testing. His gaze wandered to the main practice laminar hoods at the back, right towards the fine specimen puff a human that he couldn't take his eyes away from. While under normal circumstances, the waist length silver hair tied at the nape of his neck would have signified a far older person, the unlined face betrayed his age to be similar to Yuuri’s. He caught a twinkle in the impossibly blue eyes in front of him. The lilt of a Russian accent faintly registered in Yuuri’s brain, but failed to comprehend any meaning behind the words he was saying.

Yuuri was still daydreaming about his laugh when he felt a jab in his side. He blinked awake to find the amused face of his friend Phichit brandishing his pencil towards Yuuri, who was now sitting in a mostly vacant room.

“This should be interesting,” Phichit remarked, “I know you got the VG for placement. Good thing I did, too! Especially if you're going to act this way around Victor!”

As Phichit cackled, Yuuri gave a half hearted chuckle as he looked toward where he knew the old hospital sat on the other side of Halifax Harbour. Now he had a name.

~~~~~

The final semester of Yuuri’s program was simultaneously a whirlwind, moving time forward too quickly, and a black hole, seeming to halt time in its tracks. He threw himself into his studies with renewed vigour, preparing for the start of his final school-sponsored practicum in the spring. After his retail placement, which ended with him getting a job offer that he ultimately turned down in favour of the job he had been working throughout the school year, Yuuri was excited at the prospect of hospital pharmacy. Standing at the corner of South Park and University, he took in the sight of the old mishmash of brick buildings that made up the Victoria General hospital, wondering what sights the old building had seen.

Following the directions to the main dispensary area on the second floor, Yuuri found the person the was shadowing for the day, a tall handsome man sporting an undercut shook hours hand, introducing himself as JJ. After a short time, Yuuri was able to figure out that JJ harboured a disdain for retail pharmacy, a foul mouth, and an unhealthy obsession with expensive sneakers. At least he made Yuuri laugh as he learned to operate and stock the fingerprint operated the Pyxis medication machines. With some of the extra time that they had between finishing the lunch delivery and waiting for the IVs to finish, Yuuri was shown the fragmented sections of the pharmacy department, going to the former stores site in the basement of the Victoria, to the OR satellite on the eleventh floor in the Centennial, the manufacturing lab across the hall from Pyxis central, to finally the complex of rooms housing the outpatient High Cost Drug program and the sterile rooms, where IV bags were mixed. 

Yuuri entered the anteroom at the end of the corridor, where even though operations were winding down for the day, people in periwinkle blue scrubs flitted around to ensure everything was done. Instead of turning left to the narrow storage space filled with lab fridges where the daily IV doses were kept, Yuuri caught a glimpse of a tall man, leaning on the counter, his short silver hair gleaming unrealistically in the bright fluorescent lights as he laughed heartily at the Swiss man's story of his latest misadventure at the club. It was only when he felt a tug on his dress shirt, and saw a wry smile on JJ’s face.

“I see you’ve found Victor. I'm going to give you a fair warning. Those sterile folks are a bunch of vipers, and he's queen bee of them all.”

As Yuuri left the anteroom, he turned back to puzzle out what this guy meant, only to make eye contact with Victor. Yuuri broke it immediately, and caught up, finishing his work for the day.

~~~~~

While he didn't get to go to the sterile room every day of his placement, or even work Pyxis every time he came in, it became a highlight of the day when Yuuri was able to catch a glimpse of Victor. It was certainly enough that on his last day, Yuuri left a resume for the technician in charge of hiring to consider on her next hiring spree.

When Yuuri returned to his busy retail job, he found himself daydreaming of silver glimpses, blue eyes, and a melodic laugh. Yuuri wasn't miserable, having thrown his effort and passion into a high-stress career, he simply found that there was something missing in his life. While he had made peace with the possibility of simply not being in the competition required to work within the hospital system, it was more to not get his hopes raised unnecessarily.

It was an otherwise unremarkable day a couple weeks after graduation (which he skipped in favour of proper katsudon with his family) when Yuuri felt the telltale buzz in his pocket as he left the dispensary for lunch. Grabbing the contraband phone from his grey lab coat, he answered the call with a curious tone that quickly brightened, as he scheduled an interview at the Halifax Infirmary with relatively short notice. As he tapped the red circle to end the call, he let out the breath he had been holding, knowing that this interview could get him not only into either one of the major hospital pharmacies in Halifax, but closer to Victor.

The excitement of the big interview did not last long, as Yuuri’s brief reprieve from the chaos of a thousand-plus-script-per-day long term care pharmacy came quickly to an end. He forced all thoughts out of his mind and focused on the always monumental task of getting through the day's work.

On the day of the interview, a couple weeks later, Yuuri did his best to showcase the knowledge he had gained from school that was fresh in his mind. It was nerve wracking, but he managed to stay mostly coherent through mindful breathing and absolute figure on what he did well. He was surprised at the written test that happened after the normal interview, but answered to the best of his ability.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Yuuri threw himself back into the hectic schedule of busy pharmacy and video games. He conceded defeat when Phichit dragged him on their graduation road trip a week later to Montreal for Comic Con, understanding that he deserved to get away for once. It wasn't until Yuuri could barely read the road signs when he received the call.

He had gotten the job.


	2. Dispensary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri settles into a routine at the hospital, which is a change of pace for him, and becomes a known pharmacy entity.

When Yuuri received his phone call, he found out that he still would have to go through the obstacle course known as HR, and that the hours he would be receiving would be on a call-in casual basis. The latter bit of news was expected, as they discussed at-length in his hospital pharmacy class the hurdles it took to enter the field. He was glad that it was in one of the days that was not a part of  _ that _ presentation, as the only thing that left an impression on Yuuri was how pretty Victor was, and how it's a shame that his hair was now cut short.

After two months, and several heated emails back and forth where Yuuri questioned the competency of the entire Nova Scotia Health Authority human resources department, he finally received the orientation dates that both he and Minako, the senior technician, were anxiously awaiting for. With these dates, Minako gave him a preliminary schedule, with none of the shifts taking him into the sterile room except for the daily IV delivery, if he was lucky enough to work his own floor. While this development was disheartening, when Yuuri complained to Phichit (who got hired on at the VG as well, and got through HR limbo much quicker), Phichit simply reminded him about how competitive the field is, and how lucky the both of them were to get a job right out of school.

~~~~~

After Yuuri got settled in and fully trained, he opened his eyes fully to his surroundings. While he was familiar with his new co-workers from his time as a student, he found the particular quirks of JJ, Sara, Mickey and Emil entertaining. He had Phichit as well, and Leo seemed to have swallowed him up into his particular clique. The sting of only seeing Victor once a day was soothed by the presence of new friends, and allowed Yuuri to gain a look at the building in a way he had been blind to as a student.

Yuuri was convinced that the building was haunted.

Objectively, it made sense. The section he was in was nearly seventy years old, and even the newest section was older than him by at least a decade. For a general hospital that has been around this long, it was likely there were some angry spirits around, though at the very least, some curious ones. It was in the way that the fire alarms were being “tested” every day, for several hours at a time. Or there was the invisible elevator passenger that seemed to like the third floor. Yuuri shudders at the time when he felt the elevator go down when he was on his way up from the second floor to see Minako to pick up more shifts. Finally, there was that nurse that he spotted in the cafeteria wearing the classic nurse's cap, white dress in a style reminiscent of the 1950s, and white sneakers. Yuuri had only spotted this woman once, and did not drum up the courage to poke her with a stick to see if she was corporeal.

Yuuri also found that compared to his retail job, the workload was very light. There, his specialty was filling refills and short fills, and there never was a shortage of that. Meanwhile, he currently was a witness to JJ standing over the sink trying to dispose of a frozen ice pack, and seeing the fog creep up over the stainless steel ledge, as if the plumbing was haunted as well. While JJ took a special type of person and a particular mood to truly appreciate his presence, the childlike glee on the taller man's face was infectious, similar to the one Yuuri would wear if that was a controlled fire in the sink, rather than a bunch of dry ice. It was also telling that not only did this go on for the better part of half an hour, but that Yuuri was present in the pharmacy for the entire show, absently running the same reports over and over again in an attempt to look busy.

~~~~~

As the fall turned into winter, Yuuri became comfortable with the bureaucracy that permeated all of the hospital processes and pace of working with a Pyxis machine. Minako gave him a schedule to begin training him in the high cost drug dispensary, where the work was very similar to retail.  Yuuri found the change of pace to be jarring, as most of his outpatients colleagues called what Yuuri considered “mildly interesting” to be “extremely busy”. It was far more interesting work than simply stocking a unit’s medications, as he felt like he was making a difference in the lives of people living with MS, organ transplants and HIV, and Yuuri didn't mind this kind of downtime compared to the other pharmacy, as he could look out the wicket and people watch, keeping an eye out for Victor when he left the anteroom.

Phichit had a greater tolerance for downtime, using the time to get to know the pharmacists, the sterile crew, and the porters that would come through to pick up the run. However, there were points where even Phichit found himself bored when the couldn't bug the sterile folks in their adjoining room anymore. Yuuri watched as he picked up two packing tape dispensers and declared, “I'm Spiderman!”

Phichit quickly set the sticky ends of the dispensers onto the counter, his right hand on the back counter and his left one on the checking island, and pulled his hands together until there was a tape barrier fully across. Yuuri let out an incredulous laugh that rumbled through his entire body, nearly knocking the thick-rimmed glasses of his face with its intensity. He caught Phichit’s amused smirk, and as he followed his friend's gaze to the locker room visible through the wicket, he was only able to catch a glimpse of silver and periwinkle as Victor turned the corner into the bathroom. Phichit’s amused smirk dropped at the sight of Yuuri’s glare, which communicated Phichit's silence in return for not kidnapping his hamsters. Phichit gave one last look at his friend, keeping a small smile to himself before he set upon the task of untangling his twin tape guns.

~~~~~

As the holiday season passed, the unpredictable weather that Nova Scotia was notorious for reared its ugly head. The topic on everyone's mind was the upcoming noreaster, except instead of the cold temperatures that are normally associated with Canadian blizzards, the weather forecasts were indicating temperatures that would not be out of place in the spring. It did not stop the less busy folks from heeding Frankie’s advice and stocking up for the storm. Yuuri left the hospital in a weird state, unsure if he would have power when he finally arrived home after his shift at the retail pharmacy finished. He ended up being lucky, as both his work places had generators, and his apartment across town had power despite widespread outages across the city.

When Yuuri came in the following morning, the gossip that everyone in the pharmacy was talking about was the incredible wind off the night before. Apparently, it was bad enough that roofing materials and the insulation underneath was strewn everywhere around one of the administration buildings, and Yuuri muttered that nature was starting the demolition a few years early.While the wind had died down in the early morning, when Yuuri looked out the window to find that the trees lining the streets of South End Halifax were still moving, and the houses looked suspiciously dark. He was certain the hospital was still operating on generators to supply its power.

After he caught up with the news from the morning, Yuuri set about his routine. It was otherwise a slow, regular day, so when Yuuri finished his lunch, and was spending the rest of his lunch break reading on his phone in the cafeteria, his face fell when he heard an unsettling click, as the lights turned off in the area he was in, the room lit only by a large bank of windows showing the overcast sky outside. While he waited for the lights to come back on, Yuuri found the setting that turned his phone into a flashlight, and set out into the bowels of the hospital.

It took Yuuri a little bit of problem solving to figure out his way back to the high cost drug dispensary, as the elevators didn't work, and the only set of stairs that led directly from the cafeteria to the wing where this pharmacy was located did not allow access onto the floor from the nearest stairwell. Luckily, Yuuri had found another set of stairs in a previous exploration to avoid a panic attack, which would do quite nicely. He found that the stairs were lit, but the hospital units weren't, and that he was not the only one roaming the halls.

As he approached the complex housing his work station and the sterile processing department, Yuuri found a huddle of sterile techs in front of his wicket, watching the door, and letting in people they recognised. He was able to see the beam of light coming behind him, casting an impossibly long shadow as the person approached. When Yuuri turned around to find out who was approaching, he found himself blinded by a phone flashlight. As the light beam moved and Yuuri’s eyes adjusted to the surroundings, he was surprised to find Victor standing right in front him, the harsh glow highlighting his defined features.

“Yuuri, do you have any idea of how far this goes?” Victor kept looking towards the junction where the Victoria turned into the Centennial building, and to the stairs behind the huddle.

Yuuri’s eyes widen, as he has not spoken more than a word at a time to Victor. As long as Yuuri had been working at the hospital, he still felt a surge of self worth when he realized he was a known entity to others, even if his name was on the ID badge that allowed him access to secure areas. “I-i-i”, Yuuri began to stutter, hoping that he could blame his inability to speak on being in a dark hospital. Taking a deep breath, he tried again. “I know it's off in the cafeteria, and on one of the floors below us. It seems like the stairs are okay, I came up through those ones”, and Yuuri pointed further down the dark hallway, “and I see the lights on in this set here.”

Victor patted Yuuri on the shoulder, and he moved towards the anteroom. “Well, you know more than I do. Here's hoping it comes back soon.”

The hand was gone as quickly as it came, and Yuuri was torn between which type of panic attack to have, whether it was the freeze-in-this-spot, or run-away-forever type. Before his body could fully decide which plan to enact, Leo poked his head outside the wicket as much as he could to get Yuuri’s attention, as the magnetic locks had the possibility of failing. This was able to break him out of the anxiety feedback loop, and they used this opportunity to look back through the top pane of the anteroom door to see silver and two-toned gold through the flashing phone lights.

It wasn't much longer before the power returned. Yuuri sighed in relief, setting about to work on getting things back up and running. As he went about his checklist for what he needed, he ignored the look on both Leo and Phichit’s faces as he tried not to touch his shoulder, afraid that the essence of Victor would rub off and leave him forever.

Needless to say, when Yuuri finally made it home, the memory Victor’s hand on his shoulder burned low in his gut, and breathless sighs escaped his lips as his mind supplies the image of Victor’s outlined in his phone's glow, his face angelic, pretty, and so very much Yuuri’s type. In his solitude, he was glad that there was nobody around to see exactly how his mind was extrapolating from his encounter in the pharmacy hallway. Yuuri simply closed his eyes, let the images wash over him completely, whispering the name “Victor,” when they finally finished dancing across the backs of his eyelids, leaving him with a deep sense of satisfaction.

Yuuri returned to work with renewed vigour. He kept himself so busy over the following weeks to avoid the mental picture show that started with the power outage that Minako noticed, calling him up to her office. He was able to fight back his first reaction of, ‘oh shit, I'm in trouble’, and listened to her explanation of how she needs more diligent workers on IVs, and that it's demanding, but rewarding work. She was barely able to voice her transfer offer when Yuuri accepted.

Figuring out the paperwork to get everything in order, such as scrub issues and a new training schedule, Yuuri felt lighter than air. It's not until he got on the elevator to go back to his normal pharmacy that it finally hit him:

Yuuri was going to work alongside Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of inspiration! I should be sleeping, but apparently this is my way of relaxing after double shifts.
> 
> Just have to mention, in my outline, I had a sizeable number of bullet points under a section called, "can't make this shit up".


	3. IV3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri begins his IV training, and finds that sterile work to be more than he bargained for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now featuring augmented reality! I've made clickable links to songs I'm referencing interspersed in the story text, so if it looks clickable, it will add to it.
> 
> Fair warning, Victor (and my own) tastes are pretty eclectic.

Immediately after the words were out of Yuuri’s mouth, he remembered that out of all his college courses, aseptic technique was his worst course by far. To prepare for the transfer, Minako gave Yuuri a day to complete administrative tasks on site, and also to read the relevant textbooks required to do his job the Friday before his training was due to officially begin. It was certainly worth it to get paid well to read, even if the material was dry, boring, and he learned nothing new.

 

Halfway into contemplating a nap to absorb this particular textbook’s words by osmosis, he heard the door to the lunch room open, and Yuuri heard the tail end of a story, the Russian accent punctuating the highlights of an escapade in a more memorable and captivating way than he could ever accomplish himself. With a glimmer of recognition, Yuuri raised his head from the full faceplant position he had adopted for the past half hour to see Victor animatedly finish his story towards his Swiss friend. Yuuri looked wide eyed at the scene before him, the Swiss man's face in an exaggerated simper aimed at Victor, obviously catching that the entire story was an elaborate dig at his character.

 

As Victor turned his smug gaze away from his friend, he caught sight of Yuuri doing his best impression of a deer caught in a set of headlights. Victor’s eyes glimmered as he took in Yuuri’s terrified form.

 

“Ah! You're the new one to the department! I see Minako has given you the exciting reading assignments.”

 

Yuuri didn't always get sarcasm, but he filed that Victor liked using that particular brand of humour in his ever growing mental file on the man before him. His eyes grew wide as he saw Victor’s hands embrace his own, and the other man hunched over to look directly in Yuuri’s eyes.

 

“We're going to have a lot of fun this month.”

 

Before Yuuri could fully dissect the moment unfolding before him, he found himself halfway down the north stairwell to the cafeteria, barely registering an admonishing Swiss voice remarking about “fucking with him”. While it was lunchtime, and Yuuri did have the presence of mind to bring his wallet as he fled the pharmacy lunch room, he found his thoughts sinking into his stomach and lungs, making him feel like he was going to vomit and suffocate at the same time. He broke out into a run, exiting the stairwell into the main floor. Feeling like the south stairwell was too familiar, Yuuri turned right between the main elevators into the Dickson building, finding the beige tiled stairs. As he knew that this was a less occupied spot, he found a corner in a landing between the fourth and fifth floors where he sat down to find his breath.

 

He stared at his hands, seeing the invisible outline of where Victor dwarfed his own.  _ That was another thing for the mental file _ , Yuuri thought.  _ He likes to touch _ . In his heart, Yuuri knew that this was a lie, but if it made it so that he could return to work to finish his reading, and have a semblance of productivity around Victor, he would lie to himself forever. Picking himself up from the ground, he found his way to grab some lunch, and the courage to finish the day.

 

~~~~~

 

If Yuuri thought that reading the textbooks that contained no new information was one of the more borings thing that he had ever done, it was clearly because he had never watched someone mixing IV bags. The only reasons that Yuuri found himself not nodding off in his chair as he watched Victor work on his first day was because Victor was explaining his process as he went along, and he had the presence of mind to drink more coffee than usual before leaving his apartment that morning. While Victor was talking, Yuuri found it difficult to absorb the words coming out of Victor's mouth, focused instead on the twinkle in his eye as he turned ever so slightly towards Yuuri, the only evidence of a smile behind the mask were the slight crows feet in the corner of his eyes, and the slight puff of his cheeks towards the back of the mask covering the lower half of his face. Even slowing down to explain every single step to Yuuri, Victor was still extremely efficient, enough that they had the afternoon mostly free to do some hands on training.

 

“I was never good at this at school,” Yuuri admitted. He described the anxiety that he felt around needles, compounded with testing anxiety, causing his hands to shake to a degree that it was dangerous, including a needle poke during one of his practical exams. As Victor pulled out the blue bin full of gear in the first anteroom, Victor pulled out basic gear to demonstrate, going slowly and assuring Yuuri that his method resulted in very few needle pokes, holding out his hand to reveal a slight shake. Yuuri breathed out a sigh of relief, as he now knew there was a way around it. As Yuuri mimicked the motions that Victor demonstrated, he noted that a lot of them were different than the ones that he had previously learned. As he took his time to learn the new movements, he felt Victor shift to move behind Yuuri.

 

Victor used his larger arm span to put his arms as completely as he could around Yuuri without actually touching him. With a simple, “May I?”, Victor looked down at the black-haired head beneath him. Yuuri slowly looked up, unable to hide the pink from his cheeks as he looked up and nodded, not trusting his voice.

 

Relaxing into the touch, Yuuri felt Victor's hands guide his fingers into a claw, where his index finger and thumb grasped either end of the metal rim surrounding the vial’s bung, and his remaining fingers stayed close to the index finger. Studying the feeling in this hands, and not the warm feeling pressing up against his back, Yuuri put down all the gear he was practicing with to prepare for another run, just as Victor showed him.

 

Yuuri changed the needle, and unclicked the needle cap so that it was loose, but still covering the needle. He drew back some air, and then prepared to enter the vial on the table by fully uncapping the needle. Steadying the well-used practice vial with his off hand, he pointed the bevel of the needle upwards, angled the syringe at a 45 degree angle, before righting it to be perpendicular to the table. After he pushed the needle through the rubber bung, Yuuri flipped his off hand so that his palm faced up, and grabbed the metal rim of the vial. It was this position that felt weird to Yuuri’s unpracticed hands, but once he lifted the vial upwards with the needle in place, there was no movement except those that Yuuri controlled freely, and his main hand was free to manipulate the plunger. This position was drastically different than the one he learned in school, but he felt more safe, and more confident. Following Victor's directions, Yuuri was able to move the vial with a flick of his fingers, allowing him to push air above the solution line, and draw back under the solution line, until he got the volume of water he desired.

 

“Good! It’s important to learn how to move the vial with your hands now, as there are several drugs that get ruined if you bubble it.” Relaxing at the encouragement from Victor, Yuuri used the last few moments of his shift to practice the alien hand movements so that he would feel more comfortable with them, when the stakes were higher.

 

~~~~~

 

The following day, Victor took Yuuri into the clean room, and showed him where all the supplies were kept within hands reach in a much different way than he had the day before, and a brief summary of the specialized gear not used often at the other two general-use hoods in the room. The hood that Yuuri was going to be working at for the week was completely open, without the protective pane of Plexiglas to shield the work area. His hood did have a small strip of Plexiglas near the top, just enough to keep the airflow going in the right direction. Victor also showed Yuuri how to prepare his work area, including the proper ergonomic position for his chair, choosing a yellow protective robe, and setting up his first pair of sterile gloves.

 

Going back to the anteroom, Yuuri mimicked Victor as he put on the ridiculous puffy bonnet, the mask, and the blue paper booties that covered his shoes. Victor talked him through the process of washing his hands, which was an involved process that involved manicure sticks, lots of soap, and moving the water across his hands and forearms in a very specific way. Yuuri then grabbed a green towel and pat dry his wet arms, trying to preserve some semblance of normal skin. Holding his hands upwards and away from him, he held the door open with his rear end, careful not to touch his hands and arms onto anything.

 

After Yuuri followed Victor’s lead on putting on the protective gown, the gloves, and how to clean the hoods, he was able to change his gloves again, and start on the day’s work. Sitting on Victor’s left side, Yuuri was able to pass Victor the supplies that he needed, putting them in to the first six inches of the hood, the transition zone. After demonstrating the techniques he learned the day before, Victor got Yuuri to wipe off his gloves with alcohol and fully enter the hood. It took a bit of getting used to, having his arms nearly fully extended in front of him, but he was able to wipe off the critical sites with alcohol swabs, and arrange the bags and vials in front of him so that he’s be unlikely to pass his hands over the parts he had swabbed. Remembering the alien movements from the day before, he replicated them, and found that he was able to get through his first couple bags with little input from Victor.

 

After Yuuri swabbed the vials and the bags that he completed, he turned to find more bags and vials to be brought into the hood, which he dutifully wiped off with an alcohol wipe. Settling into a slowed down routine, he took extra care to commit these movements to his muscle memory, and did his best to maintain sterility. It was enough that Victor seemed to be humming tunelessly with what Yuuri supposed was pride, based off the look in Victor’s eyes. It seemed odd to Yuuri that Victor’s eyes were as close as they were, and while their hands didn’t touch, their elbows were rarely separate as Yuuri worked through the blue bins under Victor’s direction. By the time it was time to go for the day, Yuuri found himself feeling deprived of Victor’s presence, already looking forward to the next day.

 

~~~~~

 

The week went by very much like the first few days, except that Victor hummed a lot more and directed Yuuri’s actions a lot less. It doesn’t take long for Yuuri to figure out that Victor did not tunelessly hum, as he appeared to be quite the Disney fan. In fact, he could stay on key remarkably well. When Yuuri decided to supply the lyrics to the [Sleeping Beauty](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR00lQNCF98) song, Victor stopped humming, and gave his student a look in order to stop the song.

 

“You see those signs posted everywhere around the room?” As Victor spun his head to indicate the white walls of the room, Yuuri looked around at the numerous hot-pink signs indicating the space a quiet zone. “They’re up for a reason.”

 

At this, Chris, working in the hood opposite them, gave a loud snort. “Of course, Victor, you would know all about how those signs needed to be put up.”

 

“I still have nightmares about [Motown](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qOiNnK7AFg) because of you, idiot,” the small Russian at the TPN hood added.

 

“One thing about classic songs that they don’t get right often anymore is that they know how to express love  _ properly _ ,” Georgi piped up in defense, ignoring Yuri’s overdramatic retching that served to drown out Georgi’s impromptu poetry about his newest girlfriend, Anya.

 

Yuuri laughed, as he had heard that the sterile folks were catty, in the worst way possible, but he had not realized that they were this funny. Victor directed Yuuri to clean up the last bags he was working on, and then left the clean room without much more of a word. The clean room went from a jumbled din to being eerily silent as the room’s right door came closed naturally. It did not stay that way for long, as Victor came back with a vial, an ampoule, a yellowish coloured bag, and a set of directions. Victor’s mask was pulled down past his chin, showing a vulnerable look on his face, and Yuuri found himself wondering how long that expression was hidden under the mask.

 

Turning businesslike in an instant, Victor took the time to explain the purpose of the media fill test that he brought in. Yuuri was able to absorb that this was testing his aseptic technique, and that if nothing grew in the bag after following the directions, he was doing things properly. When he looked up from the gear that Victor handed to him, he saw a flash of yellow in the gap of the closing door, making it clear he wasn't coming back into the room until Yuuri was done his test.

 

Feeling utterly alone despite every hood in the room being manned, Yuuri turned to his work and began following the direction sheet that Victor handed to him previously. They were simple: draw up from the ampoule using a filter needle, inject into the vial, and then transfer those contents to the bag. Cleaning off the critical sites, he thought about how this kit behaved better than cyclosporine ever did. He broke off the top of the amp, held bevel of the filter needle up, and carefully drew up the required amount of solution while dodging glass shards. He changed his needle, injected this amount into the vial. He threw out the syringe, rolled the vial around to mix it, and then swabbed the bung for good measure. He then assembled another larger syringe, drawing up air to eighty percent of the liquid volume he required, milking the solution out of the vial, which he then injected into the bag. Swabbing everything off and clearing his work station, he took the finished bag in his hand and approached the door that he previously saw Victor leave through.

 

Yuuri was about to open the door, when he faintly heard the words of ["On My Own"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFEkErGUjCU) coming from the anteroom. Yuuri peeked through the window, and found Victor wiping down one of the cupboards that played home to ceftazidime and the ceftriaxone. What Yuuri wanted most was to open the door and hear more clearly how good Victor was, but paused as he was about to push the door open, afraid of losing this magical moment. This impromptu performance was enough for Yuuri to wonder at who was giving Victor a reason to channel Eponine so well.

 

"He's been like this since Christmas." Yuuri spun around to face Chris, who was finishing up the last of the batching required for the day. "Something happened during the joint Christmas party, and he hasn't been the same since. It's rather annoying, to be honest." The look in Chris's vivid green eyes was unreadable, and did its best to bore into Yuuri's being.

 

Yuuri startled, as he remembered attending a Christmas party with Phichit, JJ and the other dispensary folks before he transferred, but his memory held nothing about the sterile department partying with dispensary. Chris understood the look that Yuuri had on his face, and bemused, "I'll show you the pictures sometime."

 

Feeling done with the conversation, Yuuri pushed open the door, not caring whether or not he ruined a magical moment in favour of getting away from Chris. He took a deep breath as he presented his completed bag to Victor, who then placed it in one of the unused cabinets to percolate for two weeks. Even thought it was still well before the time before he was supposed to leave, he felt Victor's hand on his shoulder, letting Yuuri leave for the weekend. As he turned to leave, Yuuri's cheeks went pink as he remembered the fond smile and the eye contact that he was able to maintain, amazed at the difference of what a week could bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update, it's been a hectic bit! Been fighting off illness, while finishing licensing, and working about 20 hours a week more than I really can effectively.
> 
> I'm not abandoning this idea! I just found it hard to balance the technical terminology with the narrative I had in mind. I hope I struck a good balance.
> 
> If you're eagle-eyed, you'll notice that I took off the number of projected chapters. I had an idea to do a partner fic with Victor's point of view, but I then decided that I'm going to intersperse those bits where appropriate, as interludes.
> 
> Also, lots of mention of music, so I consolidated the music into a Google playlist! Any song I mention will always be in this playlist, and may be updated from time to time as I get inspired: [Playlist!](https://play.google.com/music/playlist/AMaBXylOtccEzn5OKi75aDnddZIvl3WGfom8MDbHJo_PlZGFHyfmxsgn1U3RnunOTwLi5_jngHdCjFibkO1OYBRsmi934qnlZA%3D%3D)


	4. Interlude: (I Have Become) Comfortably Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After moving to Canada as a young teen, Victor struggled to reach a point of complacency. That is, until he went dancing at a Christmas party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now featuring augmented reality! I've made clickable links to songs I'm referencing interspersed in the story text, so if it looks clickable, it will add to it.
> 
> Fair warning, Victor (and my own) tastes are pretty eclectic.

Balance was never one of Victor’s strong suits.

 

He knew it when he moved from Russia as a young teen without a second thought when he blew his knee figure skating, following his parents to rural Canada. He threw his blossoming career away on a whim, just as he was making a name for himself.

 

He also realized it when his very happy, but very stable routine at his new home in a tiny fishing village in Nova Scotia was not enough to shield him from an overwhelming sense of wrongness that steadily permeated his life. It started when he felt like he had won a figure skating competition every day for a week straight, alternating with times where life had lost its sheen, and smiles were hard to come by. The kicker, in Victor's mind, was that there was objectively no reason for the difference in how he reacted to life, his life was that boring and predictable.

 

The one thing that could consistently bring balance to Victor's life was music. When he was home, the radio was always playing, always on the lookout for something new to connect to. When he was denied use of any music player, he willed the most meaningful songs he could think of into his brain, bringing the music fully into his awareness to drown whatever strong feeling was taking over his thoughts.

 

As Victor persevered and graduated high school, he learned to associate music with more words to describe his life: manic [(Lovefool)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NI6aOFI7hms), dejected [(Boulevard of Broken Dreams)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soa3gO7tL-c), impish [(You're Welcome)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79DijItQXMM), subdued [(Comfortably Numb)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sf3pc-7gfOg), angry [(Fight Song)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcF09JzClmU), pensive [(Both Sides Now)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pbn6a0AFfnM) and a whole host of novelty songs aimed to entertain himself at others expenses. In his free time, he picked up a cheap guitar to further immerse himself in his music, and his relative emotional balance.

 

When he moved to Halifax to attend one of the many universities, he found that the gradual waves of unrelated emotion became amplified exponentially over time. The combination of a less steady routine and the many university parties did not help his situation, leaving Victor hung over, strung out and full of regret more nights than not. It was enough that Victor did not return to class after his first year, opting instead to work a shitty minimum wage job until he found the meaning he was lacking. He still partied to fill the empty void that his emotions created, and after the fifth time in a month that he found himself in the drunk tank, one of the officers encouraged him to get medical help, recognizing that there was more going on than just [heavy partying.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crIk87-mPzY)

 

It took just over a year, several visits, and showing up to one of his regular appointments while completely high on life for Victor to finally get an answer to why he felt like a fuck-up all his adult life. When he left that office with a prescription for lithium, which was his doctor’s way of saying, “Congratulations! You're crazy!”, he got the sinking feeling of permanence that had never fully settled in before. Bipolar disorder, as Victor recalled the doctor saying, was something that would loom over his life until it ended, and while there would be a reprieve from the symptoms every so often, the pills would never cease, and neither would the monthly blood tests that would determine the safe dosage that his body could handle.

 

It wasn't until the doctor added lamotrigine that Victor regained some of the feelings of stability that he had as an early teen. While his drug cocktail made him feel emotionally blunted compared to before his brain mutinied against his body, and the lithium left him with a slight tremor in his hands, Victor finally felt like he could bring his life back on track, and it seemed like he was moving forward, and not stuck to barely coping with a minimum wage job. Feeling grateful that medications played a huge role in this feeling, he enrolled in a one year pharmacy technology program, working hard and getting a great job right out of school.

 

It was his cheery attitude and work ethic that moved him from the hospital dispensary to the sterile room in record time, and it was there that he met Chris. They clicked as friends right away, and Chris was singularly able to kick Victor's ass into gear when he went into one of his funks, and whip him over the head when he got carried away. It did not stop the dynamic duo from getting into all sorts of adventures, including singing songs in harmony from their adjoining hoods, and terrorizing the local karaoke scene with their silly songs. Victor still feels proud at the plethora of “quiet zone” signs that hang in the clean room, an outward sign of his good memories in the face of boredom.

 

Victor would not find true happiness until nearly five years later, when after spontaneously meeting up with the dispensary folks for an unofficial Christmas party, convincing Chris and a rather-drunk Yuuri to go out dancing after eating at the pub. While he had not had the level of alcohol that he would have had in his partying heyday, he could still certainly hold his own, and found himself more open to fun than normal. It certainly didn't hurt that Victor found his new drinking buddy extremely attractive, and wondered what he might look like as they explored each other's bodies in bed.

 

_ No _ , Victor thought while shaking his head free of the mental image,  _ I can't afford to think of him that way _ . Victor snapped briefly out of his thoughts as he joined Chris and Yuuri past the bouncer and attended to the coat check. Not long after Victor had shucked his bulky winter coat, he felt hands running up his now-bare arms. When he looked to see who the hands belonged to, he was greeted with Yuuri’s heavy-lidded gaze. He couldn't have dragged Yuuri out to the dance floor fast enough. It was there, under Yuuri’s lead, they danced close enough to make the most seasoned bar security guard blush while still maintaining just enough decorum to not get thrown out due to indecency. Victor was certainly too wrapped up in his dance to realize that Chris was taking pictures of the entire situation.

 

At the end of the night, Victor was a gentleman and ordered a cab for Yuuri to arrive home safely. With his winter coat in place, he opted not to take a cab ride home, but to work out some of the alcohol the good old fashioned way, breaking out into a run into the direction of his apartment. It was a 15 minute run, which ended up taking away the last of the lingering tipsy feeling of his drinking earlier, but did not take care of the fire curling low in his stomach. As he went about his night routine of a bedtime snack, large amounts of water and his fistful of pills, Victor’s mind wandered to the memory of Yuuri’s hands wandering up and down his body in time to the throbbing bass. Victor had barely entered the hot shower when the memory of a slightly-dopey but super-sexy smile looking up at him. That smile was enough to finish him right then and there.

 

When Victor's thoughts finally settled, he found himself propping his weight against the shower stall wall. Turning off the water, he towelled off, taking extra care with his hair as to not soak his pillow. Climbing into his bed, he saw the image of the emotional freedom he had not had in over 10 years. 

 

~~~~~

 

When Victor went back to work, the songs that he would hum to keep himself entertained moved from being aimless in nature to those of longing and want. While he and Yuuri worked in the same building under the same theoretical department, the physical geography and duty overlap was such that Victor was able to see Yuuri at most once a day, and half the time Victor was still batching and missed his chance.

 

It was the day after the storm that Victor had a chance to actually talk to Yuuri after  _ that night _ . Victor was in the washroom washing his hands when he heard an ominous click and the windowless room go pitch black. Finding the paper towels through memory, he pulled his phone out of his scrub pant pocket, where he found the flashlight feature, turning it on. He pulled open the door, and instead of turning left towards the sterile room, he turned toward the Centennial building. He found himself having to push open doors that would normally part when he would approach, and found that at the split between the two units, he could only see flashlights and pandemonium as the floor was thrust into confusion.

 

Turning back to the Victoria building, Victor dragged his feet along, not wanting to go back into the pharmacy. He found himself back with the crowd of techs in front of the sterile room, when he saw a black-haired straggler turn around. Victor felt his breath catch as he recognized the face in front of him. The last time he saw Yuuri's face looking up at him he was both confident and vulnerable, and the harsh glow only highlighted Yuuri's vulnerability in the darkened hospital.

 

“Yuuri, do you have any idea of how far this goes?” Victor turned his head around to the units behind him, and to the stairwell beside him.

 

Victor supposed that Yuuri's impression of a baby deer caught in a set of headlights was understandable, as they faced power issues in a place that should not have power issues. Victor was certainly concerned at the situation. “I-i-i,” Yuuri began, taking a deep breath to compose himself. “I know it's off in the cafeteria, and on one of the floors below us. It seems like the stairs are okay, I came up through those ones,” and Yuuri pointed at the stairwell close to the Centennial building, “and I see the lights on in this set here.”

 

By the time Victor could think through his actions, he found himself patting Yuuri's shoulder to reassure the shorter man. Bringing himself back to reality before his hands could betray him, he pushed himself past Yuuri, saying, “Well, you know more than I do. Here's hoping that it comes back soon.”

 

As Chris let him into the anteroom, Victor gave a sharp glare at Chris's highly amused face. “No”, Victor simply stated.

 

“I didn't say anything!” The Swiss man tried his best to look completely innocent.

 

Victor gave Chris a non-plussed look. “I know you too well. You're up to something.”

 

“I can simply tell that you've been miserable, is all.” Chris whacked Victor's shoulder in attempt to shake him out of his thoughts.

 

At that moment, the lights flickered on, and Victor started the process of starting the hoods again to proceed with his work.

 

~~~~~

 

In the next weeks, Victor was very aware of how annoying he came across to others. He was pining, plain and simple, and the emotions that comprised his unreturned longing were very similar to a notable downturn in mood. He hummed more and more desperate songs of unrequited love, as singing the lyrics was something he reserved for night shift, away from those who would tell on him to Minako.

 

He was able to maintain a new measure of stability, and while it was set at a lower point than he would have liked, he was still able to work, and still able to predict how he would react to a given situation. What ended up throwing a wrench in his newfound stability was the email that Minako had sent it about the changes to the schedule that she had made to accommodate training. Perking up, Victor clicked into the new schedule, knowing that his supervisor typically left the training to him. He was not surprised to find out that yes, he was in charge of training the new recruit, but he was surprised to see that it was Yuuri. The family name was unfamiliar to him, and he wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was who he thought it was, but Victor could  _ hope _ .

 

It was the end of that week where Victor found out that his hunch was correct. He was in the middle of making fun of Chris’ last performance at karaoke, where his rendition of [Dancing Queen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFrGuyw1V8s) went a little over the top, when Victor saw the perpetually shocked look on Yuuri's face. There was a slightly glazed look in his eyes, and a quick look over the book in front of him, Victor gave a wry smile. “Ah! You're the new one to the department! I see Minako has given you the exciting reading assignments.”

 

As Victor approached, he took the seat directly opposite to Yuuri, taking care to look directly into his eyes. Victor revelled in the warm brown that greeted him. He felt a true smile pass through his lips, and took Yuuri's hands within his. “We're going to have a lot of fun this month.” Victor's heart was racing, but he was practiced at hiding the true depth of his feelings from the outside world.

 

Victor felt Yuuri's hands being ripped from his, and heard Chris yell at him, “Look at what you did! He thinks you're fucking with him!” Before Victor could apologize, Yuuri had left the room in an impressive display of speed and grace, two things that are not normally in a pharmacy technician’s skill set.

 

To pour salt on Victor's wound, the next person to enter the lunch room was none other than Mila. Yuri he could handle, as he wanted nothing else but to not hear about Victor's romantic troubles, and Georgi would simply commiserate, but Mila would meddle in the worst way possible. She would take control of the situation. Victor heated up his food and immersed himself in the Metro that was left on the table in a bid to ignore the redheaded woman as she ultimately bickered with Chris. He had gotten halfway through the crossword puzzle when Chris poked him to return to the anteroom. Victor was thankful that Mila was working chemo this week and next, so he wouldn't have to deal with her right away.

 

~~~~~

 

After the work week had finished, Chris cornered Victor at his apartment, entering as he pleased. Victor was sprawled out on the couch, and it was very clear to Chris that Victor was on a tipping point. He strode over to where Victor kept the guitar, and thrust it into his friend's hands. 

 

“Here, get it out of your system. I don't want to see you useless because you can't rein in your thoughts. Play whatever, I'll back you up.” The Swiss man's face softened. “It's always worked in the past.”

 

Sitting up, Victor stared at the sound hole, thinking. With a small smile, Victor started strumming and using the side of his guitar as a drum on the back beat. When Victor started the [mournful lyrics about longing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrIiLvg58SY), Chris was able to recognize the song, and jump in with the satisfying harmony a couple phrases later, Chris’s baritone taking the lower part, leaving Victor’s tenor to the higher part. Their voices wove together to transform Victor's turmoil into something beautiful.

 

As the song ended, Chris noticed that Victor's face had less worry lines. Grabbing the nearest Xbox controller, he turned on Victor's console, throwing the other controller at his friend, giving him no choice about the night's activities.

 

While Victor would have preferred to spend his night with a different person for different reasons, he certainly couldn't complain about the company under the circumstances.

 

~~~~~

 

When Monday rolled around, Victor had put walls up to protect himself from Yuuri's presence. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on in Yuuri's mind, only that he had fucked up with only considering what he wanted, with no regard to how Yuuri felt. He was certain now that Yuuri didn't remember their night, which still had a magical quality to Victor, especially based on the panic attack he had witnessed a couple days before.

 

So when Georgi called in sick, Victor’s plans to train Yuuri right away were thwarted, as he took on Georgi’s workload. He did the next best thing, and sat Yuuri down beside him as he prepared the doses Chris had set up for him. He gave Yuuri a running commentary of every action, and smiled as he saw the telltale signs of extreme boredom take hold. He didn't stop his commentary, as he knew if he stopped, he'd make his true feelings known, depending on which pop culture references Yuuri was familiar with.

 

Victor was finished both his work and Georgi’s work in time for lunch, where he was able to see that they were extraordinary slow on batching, with only needing 100 bags of pip taz. They always needed pip taz, it seemed. He was able to move to phase 2, getting Yuuri used to the proper VG sterile method, which he knew from experience was drastically different than what he had learned in school. Victor assured Yuuri that his method was safe and made sense, demonstrating the slight tremor that his medications created in his hands. Victor was able to see Yuuri visibly relax at his demonstration, but it was not enough to prevent Yuuri struggling with the hand motions that were now second nature to Victor. He positioned himself behind Yuuri, spread his arms, and asked, “May I?”

 

Victor couldn't help but notice the pink flush on Yuuri's cheeks as he looked up into Victor's eyes and nodded. When Victor placed his hand over Yuuri's, he felt the smaller man's body tense for a moment, and then relax into the touch. He positioned Yuuri's left hand so that his thumb and index finger gripped the vial, and the remaining fingers were pressed against his index fingers, away from where the needle made contact with the vial’s bung. He position positioned Yuuri's right hand onto the syringe’s plunger end, placing the index finger onto the tabs coming off the barrel, and the thumb onto the end of the plunger itself. He gave a warning about the areas not to touch, being the needle hub, the bung, and the plunger’s shaft, and he bit back a comment about other shafts he could touch because he was a professional, dammit. 

 

Victor smiled as he could see in Yuuri's face a series of lightbulbs turning on, as if the whole idea of sterile work started to make sense. He looked behind Yuuri to see Chris out of sight of his student, an amused look escaping over the top of the mask he had pulled down under his chin to better breathe. They had known each other long enough that they could communicate wordlessly, and Victor knew that this amused look was either Chris's mind being firmly in the gutter or him drawing parallels between Victor and Patrick Swayze. Victor shot him a warning look, conveying his feelings of  _ don't mess this up for me _ in his glare. Chris laughed and his body indicated he was backing down from his shit disturber tendencies. Victor softened his gaze back at Yuuri, who was rapidly getting used to the new method of holding his apparatus upright.

 

~~~~~

 

As the week wore on, Victor watched Yuuri becomes more confident in his skills in the hood. Victor rarely had to prompt Yuuri on the proper procedure, so he was left to double check Yuuri's measurements, and not much else. As Victor found less things with which to occupy his mind, he caught himself humming under his breath more and more. He was careful that his voice didn't carry across the room so that the tattletales that lurked in the sterile area couldn't bring Minako’s wrath like the day that Victor and Chris brought Motown into the clean room.

 

Victor hummed the happy tune of [“You Can't Hurry Love”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qOiNnK7AFg) as the memory of little Yuri’s red face was determined to ignore him as he set up the TPN compounder.

 

As Friday rolled around and Victor had gone through a good chunk of the Disney repertoire, he relaxed into the afternoon, relaxing as Yuuri completed his last few bags. He started humming the song that [Aurora sings when she's wishing for her Prince to arrive](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uR00lQNCF98), finding a parallel of his time working with Yuuri, which felt very much like a dream itself. What ended up shocking Victor was that not only did Yuuri join in, he joined right as Philip did in the song. Victor was glad his mask hid a good portion of his face, or else Yuuri would have seen the depths of how unprofessional he felt like his behavior was. Instead, Victor leaned in, hypocritically hinting at the origins of the vibrant signs that littered the walls as a gentle warning of those who would tell on Yuuri.

 

He should have expected Chris to call him out on his hypocrisy. Victor certainly wasn't surprised when Yuri grumbled about Motown dramatically, and gave an internal chuckle at the memory. He even could understand Yuri’s reaction of violently retching to Georgi’s weird combination of defending Victor's previous song choices and waxing poetic about Anya, because he felt the same though didn't show it to the same degree. What he didn't expect was Yuuri's soft laugh, joining in with the others who were making fun of Victor. He quickly directed Yuuri to clean up, as he went to enact the next stage of his training.

 

Grabbing the media fill test kit, Victor pulled down the mask on his face so that he could breathe a little more deeply, to keep himself under control. He re-entered the clean room just long enough to give Yuuri the directions on completing the test. As Victor stripped off his protective gear in the anteroom, he felt the emotions welling within him, and felt a parallel with [Les Miserables](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFEkErGUjCU), and Eponine’s pain felt like his own. He still did not have a huge amount of volume behind his song, but found the lyrics passing his lips as he straightened vials in the cupboard.

 

He was nearly finished with the song when Yuuri burst out of the clean room with his kit in hand. As Victor put the kit in his favorite spot to let sit for the prescribed time, he was heartened to see Yuuri’s eyes, and the ever present pink tinge that indicated how shy the man in front of him really was. Victor was surprised to see this, as the other man often looked away quickly, clearly uncomfortable with prolonged eye contact. This was the first time since that night that Victor could see a glimpse of the brazen man he had met before Christmas.

 

When Victor was able to pry himself from his thoughts, Yuuri was long gone and Victor was on the top deck of the ferry as it whisked him away from the peninsula. He had an uncomfortable feeling in his chest, not unlike the pins and needles that are normal when he lays on his arm wrong. While it was uncomfortable, he wasn't scared- it meant that he was starting to feel human once again.

>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a while, Victor's voice was demanding attention over Yuuri's chapter. He certainly has his own logic which is difficult for Yuuri to understand.
> 
> As always, all songs I reference are in this playlist: [Playlist!](https://play.google.com/music/playlist/AMaBXylOtccEzn5OKi75aDnddZIvl3WGfom8MDbHJo_PlZGFHyfmxsgn1U3RnunOTwLi5_jngHdCjFibkO1OYBRsmi934qnlZA%3D%3D)
> 
> When I'm referencing something specific, I've made clickable links to youtube, using story text for the hyperlink. If you can click it, it can be an augmented experience.


	5. IV1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri enters his second week of IV training, and discovers truths about himself and his new coworkers.

After leaving the hospital in a rush, it wasn't until Yuuri reached his apartment that he realized that not only did he black out at Christmas time, but there were pictures of his antics and that they somehow demonstrated why Victor acted weirdly towards him at times. The thought of not knowing what he did that night burned his airways, making his breaths more shallow, leading to his current dizzy state. Yuuri pulled out his phone, sending a text of random button mashing to Phichit, something he had not done since finishing school.

 

When Phichit arrived with two donairs, with extra sauce on the side, Yuuri was able to take his first real breath since he had arrive arrived in his apartment. Phichit knew his best friend well, it seemed, and while it took Yuuri a while to get used to the flavours of the official Halifax food after moving to the city, he now ate them with the enthusiasm of a native, even if just looking at one gave him another chin with the weight he knew he’d gain. In this moment, the play of the thick garlic sauce over spiced beef made him not care about how easy it was for him to gain weight or the fact that he couldn't remember important events of their Christmas party, but that even away from his mother's homemade katsudon, that there was something delicious enough to make him forget his troubles. It even made him forget about how it looks like eating one of them, as he stuffed the beef pita into his mouth, and a trickle of the sticky sweet sauce slid down his chin. A vision of Victor smirking at him caused Yuuri to pause mid chew.

 

Oh.

 

Oh my.

 

Wiping his face, he set the donair aside as he picked up his Xbox controller to turn on the system. Finding the fighting game he wanted on the hard drive, Phichit took his cue and grabbed the other controller. They quickly got into the routine of trash talking the other, with Phichit questioning Yuuri on why he chose Yamcha (because it’s funny to whip out the weeny against the Super Saiyans and  _ win _ ), and Yuuri found it easy to forget the anxieties of the day.

 

~~~~~

 

When Yuuri entered the sterile room at way too early of an hour Monday morning, he was greeted with the sight of Victor handing him a clipboard, while leaning on a cane. Catching Yuuri's curious look, Victor explained without hesitation, “I was left with a messy knee injury when I was younger. I'm good most days, but when the weather can't make up its mind or I do something too stupid, then this makes things easier.”

 

Yuuri looked at the clipboard contents, and as he flipped through the pages, Victor explained that they were going to inventory what was in each unit's fridge and tidy the contents while rifling through. He also pointed to the space on the top of the sheet that indicated the daily needs of each unit, including which orders had been discontinued overnight. He saw Victor place a turkey bag on top of the clipboard, and Yuuri understood.

 

As they made their way toward the elevator, Yuuri was quick to notice that Victor's cane did not seem to slow him down at all, and Victor used his extended reach to push the button on the elevator to go upwards. When the doors opened a moment later to let Chris off onto the floor, Victor used the opportunity to use his cane to poke a sleepy Chris in the ribs without immediate repercussions other than to half heartedly bat the cane away so he could make it into the locker room.

 

Yuuri filed into his mind that Victor was a giant child.

 

Having had his own experience in the dispensary, Yuuri was actually very familiar with a good portion of what had to be done that morning, including the quirks of how each unit wanted their IV fridge organized. He even had the codes for all the med room doors stuck to the back of his emergency code card, on the back side of his all-important ID badge that was one key to entering any pharmacy area, which was now redundant, as they were also displayed on his clipboard.

 

When Yuuri made it back to the sterile room with a plastic bag full of IV bags that vaguely gave him the look of a Japanese Santa decked out in periwinkle blue (still a less ridiculous sight than the time he had to cart more than twenty bags of heparin back to Pyxis central without a bin or a turkey bag), Yuuri saw that the other clipboard was gone. Victor directed Yuuri to set down the bag near the computer for Otabek to deal with when he came in.

 

Between Otabek’s scarily efficient help, Victor’s verbal directions, and Chris’s work delegating masquerading as “extra practice”, Yuuri was able to not only sort out the IV doses that he needed to make individually apart from those solutions they made in batches to have on hand on a moment’s notice, figure out the calculations of how many IV doses to credit patients, but also how many vials of each solution were needed for both the VG and Dartmouth’s requirements. As Yuuri placed the blue bins that contained the medication, the required bag size and the directions to make the solution in the clean room, Victor grabbed a stack of yellow bins in his left hand that roughly matched the size of some of the bins. It was very clear to Yuuri that had not Victor been dealing with his cane, it would have not taken two trips to get a sufficient amount.

 

After scrubbing in but before settling in to make his required doses, Yuuri was directed to clean all the hoods for practice. Yuuri could feel Victor’s gaze upon him, and he couldn't quite ascertain whether or not it was directed at the motions his hands, or on his rear end as Yuuri leaned under the retracting shield to clean the back plate using a single, overlapping stroke. Yuuri felt the panic from Friday build up in his gut, but was able to tamp it down by reminding himself that Victor has been respectful of his feelings about personal space, especially after Yuuri ran out in a panic as he was supposed to read.

 

It was concentrating on perfectly overlapping his strokes with the various wipes that Yuuri was able to maintain the barest sense of calm.

 

~~~~~

 

Not only did Tuesday bring a larger than normal number of doses that had to be made, but there was more batching that was needed to bring their stock levels to where they needed to be. As such, instead of having Yuuri do all the work as he did the day before, Victor let Yuuri lead his hands and set everything up faster. This allowed them to get into the hood without much adieu, and get to work much more quickly.

 

Victor and Yuuri quickly find a rhythm that was efficient and comfortable, especially considering the hood used for IV1 was designed for a single person to sit at. Victor made sure that Yuuri ended making the bags that he had never had before, and also took charge of shaking the vials to reconstitute the antibiotics after Yuuri had properly measured and injected the water.

 

If their elbows touched more often than not, Yuuri found himself not caring, even though they both had a few inches towards the outer edge of the hood where they could each find some personal space. The workload was hectic, but it gave Yuuri a chance to focus on something productive, instead of Victor's eyes.

 

As Mila de-garbed to prepare for her break from IV3, she leaned into Victor’s ear to whisper something. Yuuri couldn't catch what Mila told Victor, but judging from the dark look in Victor's eyes, he was not happy about it. When Victor turned to Mila, he didn't bother whispering, opting instead to use words that Yuuri couldn't understand. It was kind of jarring for Yuuri to hear Russian coming from Victor, as English seemed so natural and the Russian accent so faint that all that remained was a minor lilt that was endearing in a different way than the seafaring origins of the locals. Mila perked up, reverting to English, exclaiming, “It must be serious!”

 

In retaliation, Victor dropped what he was working on, grabbed the cane that was propped against the side of the hood, and jabbed Mila in the foot with the rubber tip. Mila could only laugh as she walked away, and Yuuri could not suppress the grin under his mask as he made a mental note to keep on Victor's good side when the came to work with his cane. As Mila walked away, Victor tore open another pair of gloves so that he could change them and continue working.

 

~~~~~

 

Throughout the rest of the week, Yuuri fell into a comfortable routine, as Victor was pulled into the hood to help less and less. Yuuri took it as a compliment that Victor had stopped scrubbing in, precluding him from simply wiping off his hands with alcohol and joining in. Yuuri also came to the conclusion that the required batching of commonly used solutions was one of the most boring tasks ever invented, and guessed that it was during this task that the infamous pink signs on the doors became needed.

 

Yuuri did find it interesting that Victor was not humming to entertain himself, but rather talking up a storm. It was all small talk, of the nature that Yuuri did not need to give much brain power to keep the conversation going, giving it instead to accurately measuring what was in his syringe. It was fine for the first half hour, but it became clear that Victor was neither going to stop talking, nor slow down his speech to be more understandable to Yuuri's Japanese ears, even though Yuuri's English was impeccable. He was tuning out Victor's ramblings well enough that the 60 mL syringe hitting the plexiglass shield was enough to startle him. Looking over, Chris was glaring at Victor while wiping his hands, telling the other man to shut up. The look Chris gave Victor completely changed his demeanor, and for the rest of the day, Victor fidgeted in his chair, sat directly on his hands, and spoke only to let Yuuri know that his measurements were correct.

 

At the end of the day, as Yuuri closed out his hood, he caught Chris questioning Victor about his sleep and eating habits, letting out an exasperated sigh at the number of days Victor had spent awake and a junk food diet that put even the laziest university student to shame. Yuuri heard Chris mentioned something about a stash at his place, implying that he was giving Victor no choice but to stay at his place that night.

 

~~~~~

 

At the long term care pharmacy, where Yuuri still worked weekends, he scrolled through pictures of pills that the checking machine flagged as potentially an issue. It was not particularly stimulating work, but it opened a process where an assistant could do the majority of the verification of maintenance medications sent out to the homes, leaving the pharmacists free to check the many other prescriptions that popped up in the course of a day. It also served to help Yuuri keep his knowledge of pharmacology up, as he played his long-standing game of “guess the disease buy the medication prescribed”.

 

Yuuri opened up the file containing the images for a group home and documented the key stats that would help the pharmacist with the minimal check that remained at the end of the process. As pictures flew by his eyes, Yuuri realized that this particular group home housed people with psychiatric diagnoses, as the number of people on lithium, clozapine and clonazepam far outstripped most other homes.

 

Yuuri should know: before he started at the hospital, this was his main task, and he has yet to be defeated in accuracy and speed.

 

The three conditions that came to mind when he saw those particular medications were bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety, in that order. As Yuuri recalled the list of symptoms for each (except for anxiety, as he experiences a good number of them every day), he realized that Victor's behavior at the end of the work week had some of the features of mania. Yuuri shook himself from his thought exercise before he could work himself up for thinking inappropriate thoughts of a different sort about his coworker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little difficult to put together.
> 
> I only got inspiration for the pieces to put in during my massive plot restructuring in the past couple days.
> 
> Should be good now. I have a bunch of workable ideas for the next two chapters.


	6. IV2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri learns a lot about time management and Victor himself.
> 
> Also, a small tour of Halifax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently my writing comes in bursts? Either way, this is coming to an end pretty soon. It's been a bit of a ride.

After Yuuri’s revelation during the weekend which could explain many things about Victor’s behaviour, he resolved to keep an eye on how Victor comported himself in the coming week. Not that Yuuri was going to have an especially easy day to begin the week. The day the time changes was always neutral when he didn’t have anywhere to be that day, but the Monday was a day that Yuuri was dreading, as he already wasn't a morning person, and his 4:45 am alarm was going to feel like 3:45 am.

Yuuri ended up being right. He slept through his alarm, making it so that he was late getting to the hospital. Victor greeted him with a snarky comment about how Air Canada has made him wait more than Yuuri, delivered in the cheeriest way possible. Yuuri took the clipboard, and saw that he was given the floors with the most IVs to check, and the least time to do it. Power walking towards the elevators, Yuuri set out to work. He didn't even wait for Victor.

In fact, the only reason that Yuuri knew that Victor was following him around was that he periodically heard, “Yuuri! Wait! I'm supposed to be training you!” as he entered the units to inventory bags. Yuuri was focussed enough on getting things done that he simply handed Victor the turkey bag full of rejected IVs to carry for him once he dealt with the unit.

By the time the two of them were able to return to the sterile department, the other site had called in with their inventory results, so Yuuri got to work calculating their credits, which was the easy part. The sticky situation that Yuuri found was that there were some IV medications, like vancomycin and acyclovir, which often shared a single vial over multiple strengths, so he had to do some extra calculations to do what he needed to do. His Japanese education made it so that he could do mental math better than the average Canadian, but the fatigue made the numbers on the label (and on the calculator he broke down and used) to swim in front of his eyes. Normally, he would be tasked to clean all three of the hoods before break, but it appeared that he would be lucky to get his doses set up on time.

In the staff room during break, the only person who approached the level of jitters that Yuuri currently experienced was Victor. Victor was telling an animated story about how his aging dog when she was younger chased after a neighborhood cat, who was also chasing after a squirrel, which served to hide the tremors that Yuuri had noticed while setting up doses and the chatty nature that had remained from the week before. Yuuri instead found himself worrying about the timeframe of his work waiting for him in the clean room, and how it had to be done in time for the delivery person to pick it up promptly.

The one saving grace of the morning was that Yuri had cleaned his hood for him. So when Yuuri finally scrubbed on and put on his garb, his hood was ready to go, and he had a bag of sterile water on top of the bins he had to prepare. Yuuri set to work, setting up doses within quick succession. However, his lingering panic over feeling behind schedule caused his hands to shake, causing him to slow down his movements.

His precautions weren't enough, and as Yuuri tried to loosen a black needle to create a vent in the vial he was trying to reconstitute, the needle popped out of the cap with enough force that when the momentum of his hand returned to position, the now-bare needle tip entered the top of his index finger. Hastily putting the offending needle in the sharp container, Yuuri rushed out of the room to attend to the wound now oozing blood. In an attempt to regulate his shallow breathing, he took all off his protective gear off, ran his hand under water, and grabbed some gauze to apply to his finger as he took several deep breaths.

When Victor touched Yuuri's arm, it felt like lightning surged upwards, and while Yuuri's eyes could see the concerned look on Victor's face, his brain was already primed to flee. Yuuri found his feet taking him at a near run towards the Dickson building, to one of the lesser used stairwells in the complex. It wasn't until he opened the door that he broke into a run, taking each step very quickly, and jumping the last several steps toward the landing on each flight he descended. Yuuri faintly heard noises of someone following him, but his brain tuned them out in favour of escaping that much more quickly.

Yuuri exited the stairwell onto the basement floor, and quickly navigated himself to the tunnel system that connected the administration building, the on-site laboratory and the rehabilitation centre across the street. It was a quick left turn to enter the specific tunnel that he wanted, away from the food carts that made an annoying beeping noise as they wound their way through the main tunnel to feed the patients across the street.

Yuuri had barely made it through the door to the familiar steps that he took every day when he worked in the dispensary when he saw Victor sprint through and block his passage upwards. Victor was approaching Yuuri as if he were a caged animal, and the small rational part of Yuuri’s mind knew that he wasn’t far off. Victor gestured to the step in front of Yuuri, and took a seat himself, slouching forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

Yuuri followed Victor’s lead, and took a seat on the same step as him, still cradling the finger he had poked. He felt Victor’s gaze upon him, and as Yuuri turned to face Victor, he saw the beginnings of a smile ghosting over Victor’s face.

“One thing that I really appreciate about you,” Victor began, “is how much you care about what you do. There are so many people here that lose their pride in their work because of silly politics that it’s refreshing to see someone actually care so deeply.”

Victor shifted his body so that he was more facing Yuuri without too much damage to his knee. “Yuuri, just remember that I am here to support you.  Did you need me to be a mentor? A brother? A friend?” Victor paused for a moment, looking upwards in contemplation. “Did you need me to be something more?”

Yuuri started at the implication of Victor’s last rhetorical question, his heart restarting its intense drum solo at the mere thought of him and Victor actually becoming a thing. Yuuri very quickly raised his hands to give extra space between himself and Victor, tripping over all the ways to say no in Japanese and English simultaneously so that the result was an unintelligible mess. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri reiterated, “I just need you to understand that I’m not always going to be easy to handle.”

With a wry smile, Victor looked Yuuri in the eye and said, “Believe me, I know irrational.”

Victor shuffled his body over towards Yuuri, and shakily extended his own hands to gently inspect Yuuri’s injured hand. The entrance wound has properly clotted and was well on its way to becoming a proper scab, but as Victor gently flipped over Yuuri’s hand, caressing it under the guise of checking for further injury (Yuuri was currently operating under the belief that this exercise was an excuse for human contact without detracting against Victor’s professionalism), Yuuri was surprised to find an exit wound as well, with a small trickle of untouched and barely clotted blood.

Yuuri was sad to see the moment end, as Victor’s hands left his own. Judging by the frustrated look on Victor's face and the speed at which he stretched his fingers, Yuuri guessed that Victor didn't want the moment to end either. Feeling brave and curious, Yuuri asked,  “Is there anything wrong? Can I help?”

Victor let out a non-laugh as he shook his head. “Unfortunately, no one can really help with this. I take lithium, which does wonders for keeping me out of trouble, but my body stopped being able to handle it as well as it used to, so I'm stuck in a very annoying limbo until I can fix my prescription to where it needs to be.” Victor was looking down at his clenched fists as Yuuri impulsively wrapped his arms around him, silently telling Victor how much he understood a rebellious mind. 

Yuuri stood up and offered his not-injured hand to help Victor to his feet. If his hand lingered in Victor's grip for a moment longer than strictly necessary, Yuuri didn't notice because his heart was now calm. As the two men walked through the tunnels back to the sterile room, their elbows brushed together with every step despite the fact that there was more than enough room for them both to have personal space as they walked toward the elevator. 

Victor ended up scrubbing in to help Yuuri, and was actually silent as they shared the hood for the rest of the day. 

~~~~~

As the week progressed, Yuuri was able to relax into the workload more and more. His conversation with Victor in the bowels of the Mackenzie building worked wonders on Yuuri’s anxiety, despite their working relationship looking very much the same to the outside observer. Still, it was the little changes that Yuuri noticed, such as them saying goodbyes at the bus stop rather than with Victor disappearing into the locker room, or that Victor spent more time looking at the small section of Yuuri’s scrub covered butt peeking out from the cavernous yellow protective gown than he did on Yuuri’s technique during his hood cleaning test that Yuuri questionably passed with flying colours.

At the end of the week, Victor declared that he and Yuuri should go out and get donuts.  Despite the fact that Victor was suggesting the type of food that made Yuuri sprout love handles just by looking at it, and that his already soft body was softening further in the three weeks he had been away from the exercise he got from working in Pyxis, Yuuri perked up at the possibility of spending more time with Victor. It was with those reasons that made Yuuri not complain too loudly at the prospect of a half hour walk to the donut shop in the North End, as he rationalized that he could work off some of the calories on the way.

Yuuri spent most of the walk with an amused smile on his face, as Victor told funny stories that the familiar scenery reminded him of, such as the time during Snowpocalypse  that Chris and Victor hit a tree sledding down Citadel Hill using a broken down IV solutions box that led to Victor needing his cane for a full week to recover. Yuuri laughed out loud, and could only imagine what pandemonium Victor inflicted upon the sterile room if he was that silly after only two days in recent memory. Yuuri started to get a full measure of the kinds of things that Victor considered and adventure when he motioned to the town clock that was not currently visible and launched into a story about the Saturday in the middle of the summer that Chris dressed up as the Fourth Doctor and Victor as Sarah Jane and took touristy pictures downtown, and the pair had made a far more memorable trip for that Harbour Hopper trip than the history tour would ever be.

They were more than halfway to the shop when Victor stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked over into the Commons. Clearly visible was the Oval, and Yuuri could see a pained look on Victor's face. As Yuuri stepped closer to hold Victor by the elbow, he asked,  “What’s wrong?”

“I used to skate. I used to be  _ good _ at skating. I constantly heard that I would be the next big thing in figure skating. But I landed a jump wrong one too many times my first year as a junior, which ended my career as fast as it was starting.” Victor turned to Yuuri, grabbed both of his hands. “There are many things that make me glad I'm no longer in Russia, but now live in Canada. I just wish pushing with my inside edge wasn’t a recipe for needing a walker.”

Yuuri blushed as he freed his hands from Victor’s grasp.  He continued on the way to the donut shop, smiling at Victor over his shoulder in an invitation to continue. Victor quickly caught up to Yuuri’s pace, and it wasn’t long before they were enjoying their pastries in companions silence. 

That night, sound of musical laughter and general contentment lulled Yuuri into a sleep with an easy smile on his face.


	7. IV3 Redux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri finishes IV training, and the sterile team celebrates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter relies heavily on music. I've linked to youtube the songs that were in my head during writing time, so if it looks like you can follow the link, please do!

As Yuuri prepared for his last week of IV training, he couldn't help but wonder at the emotional rollercoaster his life had taken since he made the decision to move from dispensary work to working in the sterile department. He found himself smiling beyond his accomplishments at work, and the comfort that comes with settling into a routine. Yuuri felt a smile creep across his lips, which was mirrored by Chris as he stepped onto the elevator. Yuuri faintly was aware of Phichit's retreating form as he left towards Pyxis central and made a note to himself to ask Phichit on his next lunch date with his friend.

This was also the week which would determine whether or not Yuuri would succeed at being a sterile tech or be relegated back to the dispensary like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. Every time that Yuuri felt his gut churn in anticipation of the three days of testing, he looked over to where Victor was watching him work. Victor would greet his gaze with a warm smile, and Yuuri would continue working as Victor continued to hum anime theme songs that Yuuri faintly recognized. It was comfortable, and for once, Yuuri had no worries.

It was in the second day of testing when Mila brought forth the idea of going to karaoke that weekend, noting she had not seen Chris and Victor do their thing in several months. As Mila left for her break, she leaned in towards Yuuri, and with a glint in her eyes, whispered about Victor's prowess at the mic. As she left the room with her mask dangling around her neck, she smiled too widely at Victor to make the innocent look she was going for plausible, who responded with a solemn face, narrowed eyes, and arms crossed over his chest. Yuuri could only look between the two with an amused look on his face.

It didn't stop Chris from adding to the peer pressure, adding to Yuuri, “You should invite your friend from dispensary.” Yuuri chuckled under his breath, knowing full well that Phichit would crash the sterile party on his own once he heard there were more people going than just him and Victor, even if Phichit was uncharacteristically evasive when Yuuri questioned him about Chris earlier in the week.

Yuri begrudgingly noted that he was going to go, simply because he knew Mila wouldn't leave him alone until he said yes. “And,” Yuri continued, “there is nothing more annoying than Mila when she doesn't get her way.”

Victor spun around on his chair, and with a little bit of mischief in his eyes, said “Challenge accepted.”

Victor began to sing, and the [kitschy tune about hockey](https://youtu.be/v8zeB7b1uFY) was cut off after the first line as Chris took his hands out of the TPN hood he was working in to clap his hands over Victor's mouth to glare at Yuri. “You know better than that. You're lucky that he didn't pull out something even more ridiculous like sea shanties or children’s songs”. Even though Victor's mouth was still covered, he nodded at Chris's assertions of him knowing even more annoying songs.

Suddenly, Yuuri found himself excited for the coming weekend.

~~~~~

It was late in the evening that Saturday when Yuuri and Phichit entered the north end pub that Victor mentioned at work the day before. Turning to the left to enter the larger room where the equipment was being set up, Yuuri found a large booth with Victor, Chris, Mila, Georgi and Yuri already there. Mila was engrossed in torturing Yuri, and Georgi was playing a supporting role. Victor perked up visibly when he met Yuuri's eyes, and Yuuri couldn't miss that brief look of interest in Chris’s eyes as Phichit entered.

As Yuuri sat down by Victor, he felt Victor's arms embrace him as he was congratulated on his newfound independence in the hood. Yuuri shyly smiled as everyone's attention was briefly directed at him. Phichit took the opportunity to save his friend by sharing stories from Pyxis central, which all surrounded using office supplies to prank JJ in some fashion or another.

With the gear set up, the host started his spiel to start the night. It was Victor and Chris who started the parade, and once everyone at the booth shifted so they could reach the mic, Yuuri watched the staging area curiously, to see what they would come up with. [As the tremulous guitar chord](https://youtu.be/EU77Zia957Q) rang out, both Chris and Victor started in harmony. Yuuri didn't know much about classic American music beyond the random songs that Phichit would occasionally stream , but Yuuri got the sense of innocence and love coming from Chris and Victor's voices as they harmonized perfectly, with Victor taking the higher part. Yuuri couldn't help but look towards Victor’s eyes, where their have easily connected.

As the song ended, Yuuri could understand what Mila meant about Victor being really good. In fact, he had set the bar so high that Yuuri was unsure if he'd be able to compare. Either way, Yuuri would still be better than Phichit, who couldn't carry a tune to save his life. Yuuri caught Victor speaking to the host as Mila got prepared for her song, and was looking forward to what else he would come up with.

Victor slid into the booth beside Yuuri as Mila approached the mic, letting the [distinct percussion](https://youtu.be/kvDMlk3kSYg) that filled the first few notes of her song fill the bar. Yuuri felt Victor stiffen and the look on Yuri’s turn even more murderous as the guitar kicked in. As the disco beat started, Yuuri looked at Victor’s rictus curiously, and inferred that this was one of the reasons he had never seen Victor do anything but glare at the red headed woman.

When Victor's smile turned less forced, two pitchers of beer arrived for the group to share, to which Yuuri poured himself a glass. As Yuuri took his first sip, he watched as Victor downed his entire glass in one go. Yuuri raised his eyebrows at Victor as the other poured another glass.

“That bad, huh?” Yuuri took small sips as he remembered not being aware of how he got home the last time he went drinking.

Victor looked defeated. “I hate being a stereotype. I can't surprise people if they know what's coming.”

“It's a fucking annoying song, that's why she does it. It also gets a reaction,” Yuri chimed in.

“Well, you're reacting too!” Victor retorted. Yuuri could see the amused look in Chris's eyes at the familiar shenanigans unfolding before him.

As Victor and Yuri kept up with their childish bickering, Yuuri caught Phichit talking to the host out of the corner of his eye, and chuckled as Yuuri knew exactly which song he chose. Their D&D group called it “[the anthem](https://youtu.be/djV11Xbc914)”, and it became a thing that led in every session. He was simultaneously looking forward to the performance and dreading it.

It was Victor's turn again, and Yuuri moved to let him out of the booth. As Victor moved towards the mic, a [peppy dance song](https://youtu.be/6JCLY0Rlx6Q) started playing, one that Yuuri recognized as being recent and getting decent airtime on the radio. Yuuri couldn't miss that Victor was only looking in one place as he performed, and that was directly at him.

Before the blush could completely take over Yuuri's face, he saw Chris start as if the was reminded of something. “I forgot! I have pictures I wanted to show you.”

Yuuri dreaded this moment. He had come to terms with the fact that he took after his father and made parties embarrassingly memorable when he got drunk. He also was reminded sharply that Chris did insinuate something about pictures and Yuuri, which caused Yuuri's stomach to suddenly drop with anxiety. Curious, Phichit leaned over towards Chris's phone as he pulled up the gallery of photos.

Phichit ended up seeing the pictures a split second before Yuuri could process the images before him. “Yuuri, that's so nasty!” Indeed, as Yuuri looked, he was there, grinding up against Victor, his outfit from the Christmas dispensary get together in disarray. Scrolling through the photos in horror, there was one that stood out as almost sweet, as Yuuri had Victor in a dip, and both of them having natural smiles that came with a laugh. Yuuri stopped in that picture, taking in every detail that was absent from his memory, and briefly wondered what it would be like to remember that moment. Now Victor's song about a dancing seductress made sense; he was singing about that night.

Yuuri got a flash of a lyric line in his brain courtesy of Phichit's extensive playlist, and he knew that it would be perfect for the moment. The problem was, Yuuri wasn't good at remembering names of songs, so he waited until Phichit was done his performance. It was predictably bad, but what Phichit lacked in vocals, he more than made up for in charisma, poking fun at himself butchering the song. Where most people who were aware of their horrible singing needed to stumble and slur before performing, Phichit was stone cold sober, just generally having a good time.

As much as Phichit assaulted people's ears, and Mila got a rise out of both Yuri and Victor, it was Georgi who ended up winning the Troll of the Night award. As the [upbeat music](https://youtu.be/YpSr1egPSMI) started, Victor’s eyes sparkled with excitement, Chris grinned wildly with amusement, and Mila let out a hearty laugh. Yuri was not amused, and while he was content to simply glare daggers during Mila’s performance, Yuri was yelling Russian obscenities back Georgi. Phichit’s eyes widened at the sight in front of him, to which Yuuri leaned over and explained, “It’s an inside joke.”

Plucking up the courage to ask Phichit, Yuuri pulled his friend aside, into the more quiet half of the bar. Quickly explaining his plan, Phichit's face sported a proud smile, and between Yuuri's memory of the lyrics and the almighty power of Google, they were able to find the name of a perfect song for Yuuri to sing.

It was in the last bars of the current performance when Yuuri relayed his choice to the host, who indicated that Yuuri could have the next spot. Phichit patted Yuuri's back, as the color proceeded to drain from his face. Taking a few deep breaths, Yuuri steeled himself to perform.

Yuuri had the foresight to quickly listen to the first bars of [the song](https://youtu.be/oxHnRfhDmrk) during his research, because the vocals started at the same time as the single acoustic guitar kicked in, making it difficult for those with relative pitch (like Yuuri) to start on key. Yuuri followed the poetic descriptions of world-renowned paintings, and the wonder of a different perspective. He was also too nervous to truly keep eye contact with Victor the entire time, but he couldn't help but see Victor perk up at Yuuri's first changed lyrics.

As Yuuri sang about misunderstood truth and beauty, he remembered flashes of his time training with Victor: the hearty laughs shared with Chris, the amused sparkle in Victor's eye when he caught sight of Yuuri incoherent in the early morning, and the soft look of understanding they shared in the basement of the Mackenzie building. The song moved into the bridge, and Yuuri snapped himself out of memories to look directly into Victor's eyes, singing “but I could have told you, Victor, that this world wasn't made for one as beautiful as you.”

Yuuri could see Victor's eyes widen in realization. The good-hearted heckling that the group had been inflicting on each other throughout the various performances was gone, and Yuuri could faintly see the shocked expressions on his colleagues’ faces. For the remaining verse, Yuuri and Victor's eyes remained locked, and Yuuri wasn't sure if the blurriness that he saw in Victor's eyes was his own tears or Victor's.

As the last notes rang out, Victor bounded to where Yuuri stood, drawing him up into a tight embrace. Yuuri relaxed into the contact, wrapping his arms around Victor's back. It was Victor who broke the hug first, and as Victor caressed Yuuri's face with his right hand, Yuuri stretched up onto his toes to reach Victor's face. As their lips came together, any anxiety about the state of their relationship left Yuuri, leaving him with a sense of calm he couldn't normally attain.

The loud cheers from their booth snapped the two to reality. Yuuri buried his blushing face into Victor's shoulder, and Victor leaned into Yuuri's ear to suggest that they leave the bar to find someplace their own. When Yuuri took Victor's hand to lead their way to the chilly March night awaiting them, Victor's enthusiasm made it so that Victor was the first out of the door, not Yuuri.

In the chilly Nova Scotian air, they came together again, their lips connecting lili two pieces of a puzzle long separated, leaving Yuuri a sense of happiness and wonder that he knew he never wanted to give up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only an epilogue left!
> 
> This has been a bit of a ride on my end, but I'm glad I accomplished something!


	8. Epilogue- Real Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months after the karaoke night, Victor reflects on his relationship with Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song referenced in the chapter title is [The Beatles "Real Love". ](https://youtu.be/rCSrf_FoRQc)
> 
> Here's to my first completed multi-chapter fic! Thank goodness for slow days at work.

Victor woke up, the sun peeking through the blinds signalling the fact that it was still too early to be awake on a weekend he didn't have to work. Leaning over to pick up his phone to verify the time, he was careful not to dislodge Yuuri's arm from around Victor's chest. Seeing the time being well before nine in the morning, Victor dropped his phone behind his pillow, cursing what the early hospital routine had done to his natural sleep schedule.

As Victor wrapped his arms around a still sleeping Yuuri, he took a moment to reflect on the unlikely series of events that led him to his current level of happiness. While he was sure he would have eventually made a proper move on his own, Mila's idea to go to karaoke was brilliant. He would never admit that to her face, as that would be an open invitation for her to meddle in his life. Still, it was only fair to give credit where it was due.

Victor's reflections were interrupted by an incredibly full bladder, so he twisted gently to free himself of Yuuri's sprawled form, leaving the other man to sleep off the double shift from the night before. As Victor went about his normal weekend hygiene routine, washing off the sticky sweat that remained from the oppressive early September air, he couldn't help but think about how lucky he was to be where he was.

It was while Victor was making bacon and pancakes that he heard Yuuri's not-so-careful steps coming towards Victor's kitchen. Yuuri's bedhead was truly the eighth wonder of the world, and Victor's eyes sparkled with amusement at the sight of his boyfriend in just a pair of boxers and his eyes barely open. Yuuri's soft body betrayed two years of an intense school program and another year of stressful licensing while using food as a coping mechanism, but this only made Victor more proud of him.

Yuuri padded over to the coffee maker, and after automatically going through the motions to dispense the caffeine his body craved, he attached himself to Victor, Yuuri wrapping his arms around Victor's waist, leaning on the other and letting out a contented sigh. Victor felt Yuuri's breath even out against his back, to which Victor chuckled.

Giving a slight nudge with his shoulder, Victor asked, “Do you want eggs with your pancakes?”. He knew better than to ask about wanting bacon, as the answer was always “yes”, but upon hearing a non-committal grunt coming from behind him, Victor opted not to move the distance to the fridge to get the eggs. Victor's movements around the kitchen suggested that Yuuri pulled this kind of stunt often.

With coffee made and breakfast served, Victor and Yuuri are in companionable silence, simply enjoying each other's company. After clearing up the plates, Victor moved over to the couch, where his guitar rested at the far end. Yuuri picked up the Xbox controller, and as he waited for Victor's console to sync his Year 4 farm in Stardew Valley, he placed his feet over Victor's lap, spreading out across the length of the couch. As Yuuri puttered around his digital farm, Victor picked up the guitar, running through different riffs that he knew. He started with [one distinctive riff](https://youtu.be/I1YxczPEPrs) that started a song that Victor was really connecting with, but before he could start the lyrics, he noticed that Yuuri's avatar had stopped moving.

Victor turned his head towards Yuuri's face, and, and saw Yuuri still clutching the controller to his chest and his head lolled to the side. Giving a small laugh, Victor plucked the controller from Yuuri's hands, finished up the bare minimum of the day’s work in the game, then turned on Netflix. As Victor gently massaged Yuuri's legs, he couldn't help but think that he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Largely unbetaed, but the update schedule will be slow to make it so I catch more errors.


End file.
